An Otaku in Love – Why I’m Choosing to Marry in Secret
Yep, you read that correctly! This humble, boring, otaku of an accountant has been placed under matrimonial arrest until further notice and it’s about time too! After 7 years, 8 Christmases and pretty much the entirety of my adult life to date, my mountain man of a boyfriend has made the decision to, metaphorically, ‘put a ring on it’ (technically speaking I’ve had the ring for a while) and I am positively beside myself about this all-too-grown-up adventure that I am now incredibly close to embarking on.
A few months ago, after moving into our new home together and beginning our new, much happier, life in Petersfield, Jack began adamantly demanding that I book a holiday to Florida. Every day he pushed me to choose a hotel, book a date off work, find out how much park tickets would be, until eventually I gave in and we booked a week long break in April. This would be our first holiday alone together since we first started dating and only my second trip abroad, so you can imagine that I am already noticeably excitable but it wasn’t until he revealed the real reason for his pushiness that I truly began to understand the magnitude of the situation.
With the honeymoon already booked, I have been sick with excitement for a few weeks now, ever since that fateful day when I called our registry office of choice and told them the good news. After their initial shock and horror at what must have sounded like an excited, slightly teary, toddler on the phone who forgot absolutely everything she was supposed to ask and had to call back three times; they booked us in for an undisclosed date and now I have a ludicrously short amount of time to find a dress and gather up my remaining faculties so that I can become Mrs Kristy Jayne Darcy.
Now, before you all panic thinking that I’m suddenly going to start flooding your feed with wedding nonsense- I’m not! Nor am I going to start preaching the merits of church vs registry office vs a meadow in a clearing and please believe me when I tell you that I forewent any and all ‘Bride-zilla’ traits that might have been available to me at birth. I am actually feeling pretty chilled out about the whole thing and that is thanks, in no small part, to the way in which we are choosing to become man and wife.
Relationships are complicated. Families are complicated. People are complicated. Be they your family, your oldest friend or the cousin you haven’t seen since you were three, people have this knack of ‘knowing best’ and each and every person has a different ideal when it comes to the expression of love and commitment that is a wedding.
For years Jack and I agonised about how we could organise (and afford) a celebration which could include everyone, satisfy everyone and somehow not involve us being the centre of attention for too much of the day (we’re both painfully shy and much happier when a camera isn’t being forced into our faces!!) Every time we puzzled over it we came up blank until, after labouring the point for over 2 years, we finally made the decision that enough was enough and I feel like the greatest weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
Now, you might be wondering why I am writing this, and you’d be right to wonder, but I do have a point I wanted to make. My point is that a wedding is a personal thing, just like a marriage. There is no right way or wrong way, there is no minimum budget just like there is no maximum and there is no reason for you and the person you love to sacrifice your ideals for the sake of conforming or making other people happy. Celebrate your love the way YOU want to, when you want to, because you want to! You’re not wrong and you’re not alone. ^^
Whilst we’re still facing scrutiny and not everyone fully understands our decision, I am ridiculously happy to report, that Jack and I will be getting married ALONE on a secret date at an undisclosed time at some point between now and May ^^ I will wear a wedding dress and I will have a bouquet and our families and friends will get to see them but there will be no big party, no over the top venue and I will not be taking out a mortgage in order to pay for a cake. Instead we will go for meals with people in groups of 10 or 12 and celebrate the fact that our ‘pretty much already married’ lifestyle will now become justified in the eyes of the law ^^
Now to lay off the biscuits, obsessively learn origami and prepare myself for the 27 dresses I’ll try on before I eventually settle for the first one anyway! ^^